Why
by Dlbn
Summary: Why did they do this to me?


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Loveless or anything in it. It all belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off of writing this  
Inspiration: The song "Why" by Secondhand Serenade. I do NOT own that song either. I make NO money off of mentioning it.  
Dedication: To someone special. One day. I promise.

000

Why? Why did things have to happen this way? If everything had gone how it was supposed to, he'd still be here. Still be at my side where he belongs. Not off running around with someone he doesn't belong with; trying to find a substitute for love and being satisfied with such a replacement. He didn't even put up a fight. That was the part that stung the most. He could've fought back, at least dared to say no once and refuse to move, but no. He just nodded his agreement and followed like a lost puppy. He just left me alone in the graveyard to cry and find my own way home in the dark. Why did he do this? Was I not good enough? Did I not make him happy? Was I a bad Sacrifice, a bad friend…a bad lover? I may have never said 'I love you' back to him, but that didn't mean that I _didn't_ love him. I thought he _knew_ that, though. Maybe if I had had the guts to say it once, just _once_ he may have fought harder against Seimei's orders. But like Seimei said, Soubi is a good little boy and will always behave as such; always doing what he was told to do by his true Master. I wish I could have been at least half the Sacrifice that my brother was. Everyone always liked Seimei better. I wish I could have met Soubi first. Then it would be _my_ order and beck and call that he answered to, not Seimei's, and he'd still _be_ here! I would never have done something like this to Seimei. I never would have sent Soubi to him and abandoned him, only to return later to reclaim him like he was my property. I would have been a good Master. A kind, gentle, loving master. I would have been! I would have shown him love and affection, but still be stern with him when he needed to be told no or shot down. I would have I would have been there every day when he got out of class with a hug and maybe a nice snack prepared instead of harsh orders and a knife in his back. I would have been the exact opposite of Seimei. I would have done everything he didn't. I would have praised Soubi when he did something well, and go to his art shows whenever he had one. I'd go wherever he wanted me to go and do whatever he wanted me to do. If it would make him happy, then it would make me happy. There would be nothing that we couldn't do together.

But how could Seimei do this to me, too? He was my _brother_. My older brother who protected me from the monsters and the shadows they hid in, as well as our mother. He was my guide in life-since anyone could tell that our father wasn't really the family type-and he taught me right from wrong and how to do things. But instead, he faked his death to avoid being killed for real, and went into hiding without even a word to me to let me know that he was indeed okay and to not listen when they said he died. But no. Instead, he abandoned me and told Soubi to find me if he died. He told Soubi to love and protect me and serve me since Seimei couldn't be there to be his Master anymore. And I fell in love with Soubi, I really did, I swear! Soubi means the world to me, you know! I'd do anything for him, just like I know he would do for me. We were perfect together! I know I'm only twelve and know nothing of love and whatnot, but I'm not an idiot! I know what Soubi and I had between the two of us…but maybe Soubi didn't…and I know Seimei didn't care.

Why did this have to happen? What did I do wrong to cause this? Was I being punished for something? What could I have done to prevent it? And what can I do now to make it better and change everything? What can I do to get my Soubi _back_ from my brother?

These are the thoughts that plague my mind each and every day. But I can't tell anyone. They'd call him a pedophile or a pervert and lock him away. They'd shun us and look at us with disgust. But Soubi isn't a bad guy! He's just lost, and he got dragged down the path to hell that my brother so eagerly carved and pulled him alongside him down. Soubi _is_ a good guy, he is. He's just misguided and misinformed. That's _all_ it is. _Seimei_ is in the wrong here! _Seimei_ sent him to me. _Seimei_ faked his death. _Seimei_ told Soubi to love me. _Seimei_ came and took him back from me and left me all alone all over again. _Seimei _taught Soubi that he was just a possession-well, he furthered Ritsu's teachings of such, anyway-and that he didn't matter. Seimei, Seimei, Seimei, Seimei! It's all Seimei's fault! Why can't he just be honest and trustworthy for once? Why does he have to hurt people and kill them and lie and steal? Why did he have to do this to Soubi? To me? To _us_?

I have to get Soubi back. I just _have_ to! Before Seimei makes it worse! Before Seimei strips him of all of his free will and sense of self. I will bring Soubi back. Someday, somehow, I _will_ bring him back. I won't let one cold, uncaring, selfish, narcissistic, _killer_ like my brother be the thing to tear Soubi and me apart.

I may be young and not know anything of true love or soulmates, but I know that I have found _both_ in Soubi. I'm sure he feels the same way. He's told me numerous times that it was Seimei's order that sent him to me, but his own heart that forged the love he felt for me. It was all Soubi. _All_ of that love and acceptance and friendship and compassion and sympathy. That's _all_ Soubi! Not Seimei's order! Which is why I _know_ that Soubi will come back.

He'll come back even if it means having me go to wherever he and Seimei and Seimei's true fighter-Nisei?-are hiding, to drag him back by the leg.

I can't let this be the end. I just _can't_, and so I _won't_. Soubi is going to come back…someway...somehow…I can feel it in my heart. The last time he looked at me and I was able to see his face for the last time, something in his eyes just said that he was coming back and that things would be the way they were before, if not better. Soubi has to come back…he just _has_ to. We can't let this distance tear us apart. We can't let _Seimei_ tear us apart. I won't stand for it. My name may be Loveless, and I may be young, but I _know_ what I am talking about. And that is why I will get him back. I love Soubi more then anything in my world. Screw what my true name is…I'm not Loveless. I'm just a little alone right now. But that will all change soon. Soubi will come back…I can feel it in my bones.


End file.
